the lima airport is an unholy place

i recently spent 5 hours in the aeropuerto internacional jorge chavez in lima, peru.

FIVE HOURS OF HELL

and i will explain to you why...

so after a lengthy or not so lengthy flight you gracefully land in lima peru with plenty of time to spare to make your connection. you think, oh great! i´ll find my gate, stretch out and relax for a few hours before my next stuffy plane ride. you enter the airport and at first glance it appears to be like any other: tv monitors displaying departures and arrivals, people rushing or meandering from here and there, tacky shops with overpriced food and knick knacks... you get the gist. but after a few minutes you begin to realize something is wrong. you arrive at your gate and you are hoping that it isn´t true.

but it is my friend. it is very true.

DING DING DING la gente del vuelo LAN 431, por favor vaya a la puerta numero 6. gracias. DING DING DING...

and it doesn´t stop. it´s never ending. aparently the people of AIJC don´t think that it´s passangers are capable of reading the tv monitors and figuring out their gate numbers without a constant barrage of verbal reminders. i try to block it out, but it´s at that perfect volume that can´t be ignored. i drift off to sleep and it invades my world of dreams...

...the family is gathered together for holland´s birthday lunch. there is hassle getting everyone seated. ashley announces, "this year we will be eating airline food because it´s holland´s favorite" DING DING DING "oh are we sitting down to eat?" asks grandma potter "because holland and i just finished removing all of the cushions from the chairs." DING DING DING mom says, "will the passangers of flight 529 please make their way to gate number 14"....

AHHHHH!!!!!!!

i wake up in a cold sweat. i search for my ipod in hopes of drowning out the noise with some death metal. the battery is dead. i look at my watch. one hour to go.

the lima airport is an unholy place.